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for the lulz (18+)
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| RazNinjaMike |
Posted on 03/31/2012 11:44:27
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Moderator
Posts: 4586
Joined: 20.11.10
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Why you looking here. you not of age noob. alt F4 now!.....
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Husband banned from Target
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse.
Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from our local Target.
Dear Mrs. Samsel,
Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store.. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Samsel, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in House wares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.
6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he would invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.
8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called..
9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.
12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.
13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'
And last, but not least:
15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the clerks passed out.
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Hope this made you laugh as it did me. |
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| Drkinferno |
Posted on 03/31/2012 11:48:05
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Wanker
Posts: 908
Joined: 11.05.11
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my cousin's worse |
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| Tulipness |
Posted on 03/31/2012 14:11:06
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Numpty
Posts: 1008
Joined: 18.03.12
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How is this 18 and up o.O i doubt anyone obliged to that lmfao 
We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit.
-Aristotle
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| stunt1man |
Posted on 03/31/2012 14:31:24
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ShawnPeezy
Posts: 2148
Joined: 20.02.12
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good way to kill some time while your wife is shopping lol
Halo PC Stunting Community - Rank-experienced/rcon holder
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| Carnage |
Posted on 03/31/2012 14:37:00
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Super Admin
Posts: 4245
Joined: 28.09.11
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I'm pretty sure that's fake...
"Hey guys, I just bought this thing called a sight ward...so it's GG." - MasterA in League of Legends
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| Drkinferno |
Posted on 03/31/2012 14:50:31
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Wanker
Posts: 908
Joined: 11.05.11
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Carnage wrote:
I'm pretty sure that's fake...
it's true, but my cousin used ketchup instead |
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| ZA Coke |
Posted on 03/31/2012 15:12:33
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ShawnPeezy
Posts: 3473
Joined: 17.11.10
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Lmao, I was weak! XD
Zombie Assassins Founder: ZA was born on December 24th, 2009.
Tyco Music
Follow me on Twitter:
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| Phoenix |
Posted on 03/31/2012 16:32:00
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ShawnPeezy
Posts: 2309
Joined: 16.04.11
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It's funny.
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| ZA reaper |
Posted on 03/31/2012 18:07:59
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Wanker
Posts: 871
Joined: 15.11.10
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lol hmmm that is how i shall get out of going shopping with my mom
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| ninja |
Posted on 03/31/2012 18:11:48
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Super Admin
Posts: 4174
Joined: 15.11.10
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I'm amused. 
My brain is open.
- Paul Erdős |
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| Sarge |
Posted on 03/31/2012 23:36:33
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Senior Member
Posts: 369
Joined: 30.10.11
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where did you get this?
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| ZA EZrab |
Posted on 04/01/2012 03:55:12
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ShawnPeezy
Posts: 3268
Joined: 26.07.11
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sorry but just because it said 18+ i had to look LMAO |
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