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Random joke
ZA numpty
#21 Print Post
Posted on 05/20/2012 09:45:44
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ShawnPeezy


Posts: 4430
Joined: 16.11.10

A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?

The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, and even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound; a sound like no other that he has ever heard . The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, We can't tell you because you're not a monk.

The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way. Some years later, the same man breaks down in front of the same monastery.
The monks again accept him, feed him, and even fix his car.

That night, he hears the same strange mesmerizing sound that he had heard years earlier.

The next morning, he asks what the sound was, but the monks reply,

We can't tell you because you're not a monk..

The man says, all right, all right. I'm dying to know.
If the only way I can find out what that sound was is to become a monk, how do I become a monk?
The monks reply, you must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of sand pebbles. When you find these numbers, you will become a monk.

The man sets about his task. Some forty-five years later, he returns and knocks on the door of the monastery. He says, I have travelled the earth and devoted my life to the task demanded and have found what you had asked for. There are 371,145,236,284,232 blades of grass and 231,281,219,999,129,382 sand pebbles on the earth.

The monks reply, congratulations, you are correct, and you are now considered a monk .
We shall now show you the way to the sound..

The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, the sound is behind that door.

The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked. He asks, May I have the key ?

The monks give him the key, and he opens the door.

Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone. The man requests the key to the stone door.

The monks give him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby. He demands another key from the monks, who provide it. Behind that door is another door, this one made of sapphire.. And so it went on until the man had gone through doors of emerald, silver, topaz, and amethyst.

Finally, the monks say, This is the key to the last door ...

The man is relieved to be at the end. He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and behind that door he is astonished to find the source of that strange sound. It is truly an amazing and unbelievable sight

.. But I can't tell you what it is because you're not a monk.
 
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ninja
#22 Print Post
Posted on 05/20/2012 11:10:51
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Super Admin


Posts: 4174
Joined: 15.11.10

How do I become a monk?
steamsignature.com/status/english/76561198019046882.png

i.imgur.com/EzcOjDS.png
My brain is open.
- Paul Erdős
 
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RazNinjaMike
#23 Print Post
Posted on 05/20/2012 11:50:09
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Moderator


Posts: 4586
Joined: 20.11.10

ninja wrote:
How do I become a monk?


get xbox and live. and black ops. and get all zombies map. then try to beat me on ANY MAP....when i dont lag at all... good luck.
 
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ZA numpty
#24 Print Post
Posted on 05/20/2012 15:12:50
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ShawnPeezy


Posts: 4430
Joined: 16.11.10

ninja wrote:
How do I become a monk?

You must travel the earth and tell the monks how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of sand pebbles. When you find these numbers, you will become a monk.
 
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ninja
#25 Print Post
Posted on 05/20/2012 15:25:46
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Super Admin


Posts: 4174
Joined: 15.11.10

It changes constantly. I'd never be able to say the number because by the time I've finished speaking it will have changed.

E: Plan B: Blow up the world and say 0.
Edited by ninja on 05/20/2012 15:26:22
steamsignature.com/status/english/76561198019046882.png

i.imgur.com/EzcOjDS.png
My brain is open.
- Paul Erdős
 
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The Hat of Love
#26 Print Post
Posted on 05/20/2012 15:42:28
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ShawnPeezy


Posts: 9035
Joined: 31.07.11

I love that joke, Numpty! I got my entire class to hate me with it. You can usually stretch it out to a page or three.
my signature broke, here is a fox snek:

i.imgur.com/q9VUniY.jpg
 
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ZA reaper
#27 Print Post
Posted on 05/20/2012 18:15:07
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Wanker


Posts: 871
Joined: 15.11.10

impressive

How many Zombies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, Zombies can't fit in a light bulb and they don't screw.

No Seriously, How many Zombies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Why are you watching Zombies screw in a light bulb, SHOOT THEM!



riddle me this
A man was shot to death while in his car. There were no powder marks on his clothing which indicated that the gunman was outside the car. However all the windows were up and the doors locked. After a close inspection was made the only bullet-holes discovered were on the man's body.How was he murdered?
i174.photobucket.com/albums/w104/GrimReaperphotobucket/grimreaper.gif
i50.photobucket.com/albums/f337/andrew_parker/grimreaper.jpg
 
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ZA Luna
#28 Print Post
Posted on 05/20/2012 18:25:14
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I got a big blue star for posting. i must be special


Posts: 1723
Joined: 16.11.10

sunroof
and the butler did it
i281.photobucket.com/albums/kk236/alamotexas/untitled-5.jpg
 
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ZA reaper
#29 Print Post
Posted on 05/20/2012 18:37:14
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Wanker


Posts: 871
Joined: 15.11.10

acceptable actual answer is his dog and convertible
i174.photobucket.com/albums/w104/GrimReaperphotobucket/grimreaper.gif
i50.photobucket.com/albums/f337/andrew_parker/grimreaper.jpg
 
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ZA Luna
#30 Print Post
Posted on 05/20/2012 21:11:31
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I got a big blue star for posting. i must be special


Posts: 1723
Joined: 16.11.10

A convertible is like a giant sunroof. close enough!
i281.photobucket.com/albums/kk236/alamotexas/untitled-5.jpg
 
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RazNinjaMike
#31 Print Post
Posted on 05/20/2012 22:06:30
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Moderator


Posts: 4586
Joined: 20.11.10

ZA reaper wrote:
impressive

How many Zombies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, Zombies can't fit in a light bulb and they don't screw.

No Seriously, How many Zombies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Why are you watching Zombies screw in a light bulb, SHOOT THEM!



riddle me this
A man was shot to death while in his car. There were no powder marks on his clothing which indicated that the gunman was outside the car. However all the windows were up and the doors locked. After a close inspection was made the only bullet-holes discovered were on the man's body.How was he murdered?


window was down. n jeep of topless ladies(of age) was going by which made him turn his body facing open window
Edited by RazNinjaMike on 05/20/2012 22:06:58
 
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Carnage
#32 Print Post
Posted on 05/21/2012 01:16:14
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Super Admin


Posts: 4245
Joined: 28.09.11

Raz the riddle scenario clearly states that the windows were all up...so you fail.

And the correct answer would be: with a bullet. He was murdered with a bullet.

you should have asked WHO killed him not how.
Edited by Carnage on 05/21/2012 01:17:31
"Hey guys, I just bought this thing called a sight ward...so it's GG." - MasterA in League of Legends

i.imgur.com/4aNqtXL.jpg
 
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Dudeman
#33 Print Post
Posted on 05/21/2012 02:40:32
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Super Admin


Posts: 1277
Joined: 03.01.12

Numpty There are 371,145,236,284,232 blades of grass and 231,281,219,999,129,382 sand pebbles on the earth. Where is the sound coming from Pfft
steamsignature.com/profile/english/76561198038766087.png
 
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ZA reaper
#34 Print Post
Posted on 05/21/2012 06:35:07
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Wanker


Posts: 871
Joined: 15.11.10

lies i just accidently lburnt my grass
i174.photobucket.com/albums/w104/GrimReaperphotobucket/grimreaper.gif
i50.photobucket.com/albums/f337/andrew_parker/grimreaper.jpg
 
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ZA BrickSquad
#35 Print Post
Posted on 05/21/2012 19:21:24
ShawnPeezy


Posts: 5303
Joined: 12.05.11

Wow that is so freaking easy. I live in Miami, murder is everywhere. Miami is where people disappear.

He was in a soft-top convertible with the roof down, so he was shot from the back.
 
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Levi
#36 Print Post
Posted on 08/10/2012 18:50:43
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Wanker


Posts: 759
Joined: 24.11.11

soooo, how many pancakes fit on the roof?
i1034.photobucket.com/albums/a429/Possopher/okthatsfuckedup_zps75ee1ce5.png
 
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ODST
#37 Print Post
Posted on 10/03/2012 20:43:34
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Super Admin


Posts: 2047
Joined: 11.09.12

What is the pirates favorite letter?
Don't look it up!
Edited by ODST on 10/03/2012 20:45:22
 
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JOSEPH5
#38 Print Post
Posted on 10/04/2012 02:04:17
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I got a big blue star for posting. i must be special


Posts: 1606
Joined: 01.05.12

i dont get the answer "purple because aliens dont wear hats"????
i1089.photobucket.com/albums/i345/AJRead2/RApng.png
i1062.photobucket.com/albums/t484/spartan746/MovieMakersMD_zps6c66873e.png
i1174.photobucket.com/albums/r601/joseph99111/cooltext895054105_zps0fdb3f00.gif
i82.photobucket.com/albums/j243/nickmax1234/halo.jpg
 
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Joshkl2013
#39 Print Post
Posted on 10/04/2012 10:00:57
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Numpty


Posts: 1443
Joined: 26.05.12

Pretty sure that Pirate told me his favourite letter was G. Don't quote me on that, though.
I wanna be like RAZ!!! [ZÅ]Paradox

i701.photobucket.com/albums/ww18/Joshkl2013/ZASig2.png
Need a shotgun to protect you while you snipe? Call
1-800-SHOTGUN today!
Need a nuke? Call 1-800-NUKE-ALL
Take advantage of this limited offer now!
Offer expires in 3..2..1...

i1089.photobucket.com/albums/i345/AJRead2/ocelotbannerjpg.jpg
i1089.photobucket.com/albums/i345/AJRead2/MCpng-1.png
 
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Levi
#40 Print Post
Posted on 10/04/2012 10:27:30
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Wanker


Posts: 759
Joined: 24.11.11

A letter in a bottle? >.>
i1034.photobucket.com/albums/a429/Possopher/okthatsfuckedup_zps75ee1ce5.png
 
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